Monday, 23, July 2007 – We arrived in Korosten safely. We were met by Larisa’s dad, the pastor of the church we’ll be working with, Sasha, and his wife, Tanya. Sergey and I were taken to the pastor’s house. We will stay there for the week of ministry.
We sat down together to share a meal and discuss who we are and what we will be doing. We wanted to schedule out the week. It is interesting for me that such a small and new church was willing to allow us to come. The church is not yet 2 months old, they have about 50 members. The pastor and his wife are a one man show. They did it all. It is taking a toll on their marriage and on their family. They have two young boys, 6 and 4.
Still they are very giving. They cleared out to rooms in their three room apartment for us to be in. We told them that we could sleep in the same room. It would not be a problem. It was good that we decided to stay together, because that evening they got a call from another people who wanted to participate in the seminar and they were able to put him up in the other room they had prepared for us. Isn’t it fascinating how God works?

Tuesday, 24 July 2007 – Sergey started us off in Korosten by teaching on addictions. There were about 12 people present. It was a great time. I was put off by Sergey’s question to me to share about my struggles with the group on the first day. I don’t know if it was a good idea to do it or not. I remembered with Natasha said about the importance of respect with the audience. It is good to share, but make such that your sharing is giving them hope and that they see that you are ahead of them in their process. They don’t want to hear from someone who is in the same shape as them or worst off then them. This is not to lie to them, but to share about the victories you have won. Because if you don’t paint the right picture in your personal sharing, then they may miss out on the message you have on your heart to share with them. They may count you unfit to speak into their lives. I understand that it is vital not to get in the way of message.
I shared with them briefly about where I was with some of my struggles and how God has given me victory in my process of redemption. I thought that may be it was not the right thing to do, then I found that the one person who wanted to know more about how God was restoring me did not hear what I had been struggling with. It showed me that people hear what they want to hear. They may be looking at you like they are with you, but they can be far away in their own thoughts.
Our morning session when quite well, I was about to see how open and ready this church was to receive what we were offering. I am often dumbfounded at how incapability people can be in handling the basics of life. I say this not as a judgment call, but as an observation of the depravity we live in today. I can see how the enemy has planted seeds in the families many generations ago. These seeds have taken root and through cross breeding have born offspring that are more devious then the original plant that was created. I say this after reflecting on the lives of the individuals we met and the complexity of the problems they have. The solution is easy, Jesus. But to get then to the place where they will allow God to work in their lives in ways that will bring healing is sometimes a whole other thing.

After Lunch – We were talking with the young lady and the woman who helped serve us lunch. It was good to hear the positive feedback they gave us. I found that as they were sharing about their own lives, God placed questions on my heart to say them. I should be truthful; I asked God want to do? I was hearing a great deal of pain and distress. I figured that it was not a coincident that they were the ones serving us lunch and talking to us afterwards. Sergey went to our room study up for his talk this evening. I continued to asked questions. The woman was very serious about getting help. I told her that it would be good for her go for a personal time of counseling with the female counselors on our time. The young lady keep telling stories of how wonderful everything was for her, but nothing added up. By the end of our time I saw clearly what was going on, but is was still not there. She later told Sergey that she thought that everything was alright with her before she talked with me. I thought about it. I felt bad a first, then I remembered that I didn’t do anything to change her opinion. All I did was ask her clarifying questioning that caused her to think about what she was saying.

Evening Session – I was not there for most of it, because I was called out to counsel a Christian guy who is struggling with masculinity. He is marriage with two kids. His family is on the verge of imploding. I was challenged by the thought of working with someone who has this issue. For me it is a perfect opportunity to depend upon God. I know I don’t have enough tools under my belts to really help him. I have read some books, but I have not had any practice in the “real” world to gain confidence or understanding on how to best handle these types of situations.
When I saw him, I didn’t think anything was “wrong” with him. As we talked, I was aware of the fact that he was torn between his desires and his faith. He was fully engrossed in a homosexual lifestyle. His struggles had made him turn to what he thought he needed – the love of other men. In some ways this was true, but he was going at it in the worst way. I did not have that much time. We spent some time in prayer. I shared with him what God led on my heart. I gave him a book that talks about recovery in this area. I remembered what Leanne Payne said in her book Crisis in Masculinity. She compared homosexuality with cannibalism. See cannibals only eat those who they like. They believe that by consuming the person that they will inherit that quality that they like about the person. In the same way, a man who does not feel he is masculine can turn homosexual in order to “digest” the masculinity of another man. The problem with this is that it DOES NOT work. In stead of filling the hole, it creates more problems, more wounds, and deeper pain. This was what the man I was counseling was trying to do. I did not have much time to get into the finer details, but I try to let him know that he was not alone. He has been turned out of churches as he is trying to deal with his issues. I laid my hand on his shoulder and prayed for him. During this time God gave me words of encouragement to speak directly with him. It was interesting for me, because I was not able to pray. I was say a couple of words, then I would start talking directly to him about how God see him, cares for him, loves him, and wants to free him for his internal torment. I know that it was not just me, because of the man’s reaction to what was being said. During our time, I give him a book that can go into more details on recovery from homosexual tendencies. I ended our time with a hug and words of encouragements in his ear. I pray that God will teach him through the book how recovery and healing his possible. I also pray that God will but strong Christian males in his life that will love him for him and help with the healing process.
I got back about 20 minutes before Sergey finished. I was able to her the response of the people. He talked on trauma. I think that it was an eye opener for most people to hear and understand how what happened in our childhood can and does affect them in their adult life.

That night – I was talking with Sergey. As he was sharing with them, I felt led to ask God to come be part of our time. I felt that what he was talking about was leading deeper then just a friendly conversation between buds. I was not trying to have another counseling session, but I felt that God could use me to help him make sense of what was going through his mind and heart. I understand that God will only use me when I make myself available to him. It is my prerogative. God is a gentleman. He will never make me do what I choice not to do. This does not matter how right or beneficial it is. He has given me free will and will not take it back. I say this now; because I know at time I don’t feel like helping someone else understand what is going on in there live. Sometimes I feel that maybe I am overstepping some invisible line. I know that if I had a friend who always was out there trying to help me go deeper, I would not always come around. I am learning how to use the tools I have to help others. This includes my friends and family. I am learning how to balance to two, so that I don’t become a nuisance. I want to be a friend. And this means helping when you are given permission to do so.
I asked him if I could give him some feedback on what he was sharing with me. I started with a simple comment, through the course of the night; God led me to ask him a question that he never thought about. This was the key to what he was looking for. I prayer with him and then we went to bed. Boy was I tired after time. It was a long day and only the first full day we were there.